Monthly Archives: February 2011

How much is enough???

A great question!  How much time and effort should we devote to the pursuit of material success?  As we move up the economic ladder the pull to continue to the next level is difficult to ignore.  We have been ‘trained’ by a culture of consumption to stay on the ‘treadmill’ and move on up!   I’m not speaking about the people who work long hours, some of them two jobs, to support their families but to those who seem to pursue materialism and ignore the ‘costs’  A good example would be a mother who decides to go to work to get the BMW,  leaving her kids without proper supervision.  Is that really worth it?

Life is short and unpredictable and often we find ourselves saying ‘when Ihave more money I will do this or that, or when I have the luxury of taking time I will do this.  Let’s face it, unless you are wildly successful, you rarely will feel you have enough.  Therefore you must look deep, being true to yourself, to make decisions that the culture generally frown upon.  Haven’t we all ‘criticized’ what seem like crazy decision by some?  “Did you hear about Joe?, He left that job at IBM to move to Texas and open a bakery?  What is he nutz?  His wife must be pissed!”

If you want to do something, don’t wait till its too late.  Its a cliche I realize but so true. We must find the proper balance between a comfortable life and one that is made uncomfortable and unsatisfying by its single minded pursuit of materialism.  I am no socialist and am not suggesting there is anything wrong with  material success in fact i applaud it, but we must strike a balance to be happy.

Balance, balance, balance!

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Basic Responsibility contd.

On first half of this post I may have seemed to be picking on the fathers….  but Mothers also need to think and act responsibly.  Having children outside of a meaningful relationship and without means of properly supporting and nurturing them is the polar opposite of motherhood!  Compounding your destructive behavior with multiple partners is reprehensible.

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THE Basic Responsibility

I have seen first hand (years of volunteer work in leadership positions) the damage a dysfunctional family unit inflicts.  Many women struggle to raise and provide for their children without support of any kind, neither involvement nor financial) from their fathers.  They may not want to be with the mother of those children but that does not obviate their responsibilities as a father.  The failure to address this basic responsibility creates a viscous cycle of children repeating the tragic mistakes of their parents.  I know some kids are somehow able to overcome the odds and become contributing members of society but when

the only life style they know from birth is

destructive…….

 

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Addiction – Abandonment

The link between addition (alcohol/drug/abuse)

and abandonment screams out!  The genesis of many

addictions is rooted in familial or relationship

breakup.  The deep scars inflicted by the abandomnent

cause many to look for solace in drugs or alcohol

However, any relief is temporary as the user inevitably

ups the ante till they lose control.  Breakups will always

occur but the need to manage the relationships

involved (young children especially) is critical to

their future functionality.

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Origins…

Where does our insecurity come from?  countless wayys

from the loss or abandoment by a parent, a culture

that rewards physical appearance, some dark

espisode in our past that planted  the seeds of self

doubt….  Add a few of your own…

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Danger of Insecurity

Insecurity!  Jezz what an anchor, fills you with

self doubt.  Its downright crippling.  Saw a bit of

American Idol last nite and it was on display,

inhibiting some of the performers. Those that

were feeling good about themselves let it hang

out and it showed in some good performances.

Roots of insecurity are multi-faceted and I would

love to share my thoughts on it.

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Ambition Cliff

Who hasn’t felt insecure? Most of the people we see every day put on a show looking like self assured individuals. even the clowns in hollywood and the sports world fight for acceptance. With that as a baseline imagine those whose insecurity is justifiably highlighted by abandonment or abuse. How does that affect our lives?

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